Matt’s "Free" Truck

Greetings travelers.

Sew, this episode of love apples is brought to yew buy free stuff.

In this case a 1990 Ford F-250 diesel!!! How, yew ask? Buy killing trees and dealing with ignorant pee pole. Ya sea, Eye no this guy who got this trukk four bottom dollar bekause it had some issues and it was old and the paint was jhipping . . . SEW WHAT. Well, he didn’t like it and it sat fore 3-4 years. And then he needed some trees killed to make room four his moo kows. Along komes me: have saw will travel (and eye really need two lose sum wait). Sew Eye says too him Eye will dew it four the exersise . . .

About the time Eye was nearly done with this little (if ya kount to akres as little) logging job his wife wanders on out to see how her new yard is doing. Then she asks what Eye am getting out of this besides a lot of fun and dropping 20 POUNDS! Eye say nothing, she says how bout that trukk ya bin buggin us about?

Ummm ok eye guess if it runs…and stuff

Wheel it runs (boy does it) it runs really freakin good . . . now.

Right then, sinse nothing is free hears the run down: First things first, someone in the last fore years has desided they kneaded the battery more than any body else . . . and sinse its a diesel it takes too. Their goes $188.95 (hope its worth it) . . . then it kneads a bath (after 3 ours of skrubbing: “Holy shit this things red . . .”) and a little really old Turtle Wax. Klean, more or less free . . . Next change all the oil and fluids.

  • Oil: 12 f’ing Quarts (thats too and a half bloody gallons) $65.
  • Oil filter: $25.
  • Fuel filter: $42. (yes forty two dollars)
  • Air filter $32.
  • Tranny filter: $35ish (Sew fore the rekord Eye Stihl have not changed the tranny filter.)
  • Oh yeah and glow plugs: 8 x $7.95 each
 Now it starts like a new kar and does pretty good except the tranny don’t werk . . . Right, we’ll just take it too a shop they can tell me whats wrong (kause Eye know fuq all about trannys). Right . . . right. Eye have never took any vehikal of mine to a shop. Hears why:

Dealer ship, with out even seeing the truck: “It needs a new tranny $2500. plus labor”.

Me: “Bleh.”
Small shop won: “Taint got time for it. Jhekk the wiring.”

Me: “Huh.”

Small shop too: “Kneads a tranny $1500 plus labor.”
Me: “Shit, this is getting ugly.”
Franjhise shop won: (Runs the diagnostik thingy) “Yew got wiring problems jheck a bunjh of stuff and kome on bakk”
Me: “Promising.”
Franjhise shop too: (They have the truck for a week a fuqing week) “We don’t know, man, and we knead a few more days.”
Me: “Piss off dik.”
Eye am saving a lot of the story for your sake. But things ya knead two no about me: One, never paid anybody too werk on my kars exsept tyres (and Eye kan jhange those too). Too, Eye don’t no any thing about transmisions. Three, the last wiring job I did kaught on fire.

Now Eye am bound and determind to figure this thing out sew Eye break down and buy the book. (Eye heart Chilton . . .) Half an hour after getting home with the book Eye walk out unplug a little dohicky (no tools required) Run to ze auto parts store and voila (new word for me!) It werks Yay! Part is EEC POWER RELAY $12.59. (no really, I’m serious)

Right, now for the break down of what my “free” trukk really kost:
  • Batteries: $188.95 
  • Relay: $12.59
  • 2 gallons saw gas :$8.
  • 20 gallons tractor gas: $70.
  • 103′ cable: $8. (Thank yew Bonner)
  • New snatch block: $29.95
  • 20 pounds of my fat arse: -$59.95 a month x 2
  • The grand total please . . . $197.59.
p.s Eye do not count fluids and filters bekause they are maintense items.

Without wax,

Fink.

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